My writing is my therapy, My dreams are my reason,My ghost is my sanity, My music is my Love, My Prayer is My life.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
I have been reading a lot of late. it is one of the few things that keep me sane.
As I grow in my faith and mature as a person, learning better ways to deal with my issues both from the past and those in the present and at the sam time trying not to worry about the future, I have decided that one of my most important goals out of my numerous ones is to make a difference in someones life....
"When you start murmuring and complaining, the only thing God can focus on is your unbelief. When you start resting in Him, He can focus on your problems and on the areas of your life that need to be touched." TDJ
Today I realized again that sometimes when friends walk out of your life it is not necessarily a bad thing. It could be the best thing for you because it could be a chance for you to grow and not constantly cater to other people. I gotta run.... Poi, hugs and kisses to you.
I'm proud to report that i am doing much better...for all those who remembered me in a prayer and sent me all those hugs and encouraging messages...God bless you abundantly. I working through each day with God's help. I figured it was time i did something different so i collected my savings and decided to travel...In a couple of days I will be going to the U.K, then Australia, South Africa, Uganda, Kenya, Rwanda, Egypt and then back to the States...I am so excited and plan to travel with an open mind...I love you all for writing and promise to keep in touch...
Funny thing is that recently i had this huge fall out with my boyfriend and he cursed the shit out of me...and now that i have finally decided to leave the country he is coming up with the craziest ideas to keep me here, coz he thinks i might hook up with someone else.
Tell me something, coz maybe the fact that i am so engrossed in this r/shp i can not see things clearly. Why would he want to get me pregnant after we just broke up....(sure glad this is anonymous)...? We had a long talk and we realized he does not love me as much as i love him and generally the whole r/shp was turning out to be a waste of time, even though we had been together6 years...so how does he wake up one morning and pick up there phone to say to me lets have a baby even though we are not together...? Is it my medication or does this seem odd to someone else as well. And by the way one of the main reasons we broke up is that i found out he was cheating on me. He has quite an interesting defence to that....he says because his father back in Kenya has 3 wives he tends to think it is in their blood to stray...I was like WOW, how is it that you can be with someone so long and grow to love them so much and never see things like this coming. We had some good times though...his craziness aside he is an amazing Kenyan brother and hopefully will make some women a good husband.